Help for the Homesick Summer Camper

by Peg L. Smith

Every summer many children get their first taste of independence at a summer resident camp. For many, it may also be their first experience with homesickness. But we don't have to feel helpless when homesickness strikes our children. The prescription for camper homesickness is a simple solution of preparation and patience.

Phillips Exeter Academy psychologist Dr. Christopher Thurber studied homesickness in 329 boys between the ages of eight and sixteen at resident camp. According to his results, homesickness is the norm rather than the exception. A whopping 83 percent of the campers studied reported homesickness on at least one day of camp.

Thurber and the American Camp Association (ACA) suggest the following tips for parents to help their children deal with homesickness at camp:

Pre-Camp Encourage your child's independence throughout the year.

Practice separations, such as sleepovers at a friend or grandma's house, which can simulate the camp environment.

Involve your child in the process of choosing a camp. The more that the child owns the decision, the more comfortable the child will feel being at camp.

Discuss what camp will be like before your child leaves. Consider role-playing anticipated situations, such as using a flashlight to find the bathroom.

Reach an agreement ahead of time on calling each other. If your child's camp has a no-phone-calls policy, honor it.

Send a note or care package ahead of time to arrive the first day of camp. Acknowledge, in a positive way, that you will miss your child. For example, you can say "I am going to miss you, but I know that you will have a good time at camp."

Pack a personal item from home, such as a stuffed animal.

Don't bribe. Linking a successful stay at camp to a material object sends the wrong message. The reward should be your child's newfound confidence and independence.

The "Rescue Call" When you receive a "rescue call," offer calm reassurance and put the time frame into perspective. Avoid the temptation to take the child home early. And don't make "pick up deals." Talk candidly with the camp director to obtain his/her perspective on your child's adjustment.

Trust your instincts. Don't feel guilty about encouraging your child to stay at camp. For many children, camp is a first step toward independence and plays an important role in their growth and development.

Severe Cases While most incidents of homesickness will pass in a day or two, Thurber's research shows that approximately seven percent of the cases are severe. If your child is not eating or sleeping because of anxiety or depression, it is time to go home. However, don't make your child feel like a failure if their stay at camp is cut short. Focus on the positive and encourage your child to try camp again next year.

If we help prepare our children for this great summer experience, the results are astounding. Camp builds confidence, leadership, resiliency, and social skills. If we remind ourselves that homesickness is a normal part of child development, the entire family will benefit from the child's camp experience. As parents, we should help and encourage our children through this new experience-and we'll be glad we did!

Peg L. Smith is the CEO of the American Camp Association and has twenty-six years of experience working with children, youth, and families. The American Camp Association is the only national association that accredits camps. With up to 300 safety and regulation standards, ACA promotes a safe and fun camp experience with developmental benefits backed by independent research. To learn more about the American Camp Association, please visit www.CampParents.org or www.ACAcamps.org.