Dealing with Disruptive Stepchildren

Child Custody Questions? Ask Arlene

by Arlene Margolis-Devermont

While we all go into marriage with the best intentions, the sad fact is that divorce rates remain high in our country. However, many families are dealing with divorce, remarriage and joint custody in positive, healthy ways. Children are usually their parent's chief concern during times of transition, and Arlene Margolis-Devermont is here to help.

If you'd like to Ask Arlene your questions on raising kids in blended or divorced families email her at askarlene@familymagazinegroup.com.

Q. My husband has a child from his previous marriage. He has visitation on weekends and once during the week. I find that there are a lot of problems when his child comes to visit us. It is very disruptive to our lives and makes things very difficult in our home. How can I convince my husband to have his child visit less frequently?

A. I am extremely concerned that you would even suggest that your husband's child visit less frequently. I would never suggest that anyone try and get less time with their child. I understand that a child going back and forth can cause conflicts in one's household, however the solution cannot be to limit the time this child spends with his father. I am sorry that you married your husband when you do not love his child. Given that it's too late to address that I advice you to not make such a terrible request of your husband and can only hope he would not go along with your requests if you do. The time your husband spends with his child is important to both of them. You would not want a man who would limit his relationship with his son because it would make things easier. Respect your husband for the loving and involved father that he is. He deserves that respect.