Moms are Heading Back to College!

by Vickie Oddino

People generally fear change. That's why we repeat the same old bad habits for years despite knowing change is for the better. That's why every New Year's, we make the same cliched resolutions: "I'll start exercising," "I'll lose weight," "I'll quit smoking," "I'll be more patient with the kids."

But sometimes we need to make changes on a grander scale, and that is beyond frightening. We need to find a new job, we want to buy a new house, we want to reconnect with estranged family members, or we want to go back to college.

When I began teaching college English, I expected a room full of fresh-faced 18 year olds. But one pleasant surprise was when I came face-to-face with moms, just like me.

These moms are either returning to school to finish a degree or sometimes even tackling college for the first time. They do calculus homework while they are changing diapers, driving to karate or reading Green Eggs and Ham. When I was in college, the only thing competing with that ten-page research paper was the random dorm party. Now as a mom of two, I scarcely have time for a shower, let alone an afternoon in the library looking up sources of Shakespeare's Othello.

So what is it that propels these women to give up the familiar and leap into the demanding world of college? It is those same children that occupy every waking moment.

Pam Smith was pregnant with her son and toting around a two-year-old daughter when she signed up for a college math class. She had completed some college pre-kids, but she wanted a degree to give her the credentials she needed to tutor students in mathematics. Most people wouldn't think of trying anything new in the throes of pregnancy and hormonal chaos. But this was not a problem for Pam.

"My husband and I are such a team," she boasts. That alliance allowed her to stay home with her daughter during the day and take night classes when her husband came home from work. A support system is essential, she says.

But some have a different kind of support system. Cindy Gonzales, a single mom of two children, had never finished high school and was struggling to get by on a minimum wage job. But in 2000, she lost that job. This became a pivotal moment. She could continue what she knew and get another minimum wage job, or she could travel uncharted waters. She chose the later.

First was the business of finishing high school. Then she immediately enrolled at Mission College, where she is studying to become a preschool teacher. She made this change "for the sake of my daughter." And it seems to have paid off. Her daughter, now 17, now also looks forward to college. However, Cindy has also found the support she needs. "There's a lot of help out there. You have to know the resources, like financial aid. And I am going to school with a lot of women like me. Knowing there are others like me gets me motivated."

Maricela Molina, mother of two, has been fighting the odds for a long time. She got pregnant her first year of high school but rather than drop out, she graduated with her class. She then got married, but the marriage did not work out, and things turned ugly. Maricela got a restraining order and spent nights hiding in hotels. Then her daughter told her that she did not want to go to school anymore; after all, "You don't," she told her mom. So Maricela knew she had to be a role model for her daughter. When she enrolled in college classes, her daughter bragged to everyone at school, including her teachers.

"I messed up, but you can always go back," she advises.

Any moms considering returning to college should take comfort in the fact that it can obviously be done. It isn't easy. Maricela admits with a wry smile, "It's killing me." But what's that old saying? It can't be worth much if it is easy.

So this year, moms can resolve to give themselves and their children the gift of an education and of possibilities.