Nancy O'Dell on Being a Step Mom For Mother's Day

by Mac Duffy

Nancy O'Dell's passion is "Family, easily." She has a "fabulous new husband and two great stepkids", Carson (7) and Tyler (10). "I'm having so much fun with the kids around - hiding Easter Eggs, helping to put a remote control car together (and things like that)."

When asked what it is like being a Stepmom on Mother's Day, Nancy replied that it's an unusual feeling since she has always been the one to get the Mother's Day gift for someone else. "I never thought about being the one who gets the present."

Since marrying on June 29th of last year, Nancy has discovered that finding the balance between such a high-profile job and her new family can be tough. "My husband has taught me a lot about that. I am (usually) more focused on work, work, work. When I come home, everything, my cellphone, my blackberry, shuts off. It's time to chill."

In the midst of her very successful career as Co-host on Access Hollywood, she is still keenly sensitive to the needs of the two little men in her life. "I'm still growing that relationship with the kids. It's tough going back and forth (between parents). When they come back from their birth mother, there's always that moment of feeling the need to reconnect. But, you remember they're kids. You spend time with them, show them you love them, and the more you do that, the more the bond grows. I remember when the younger one first had a cut. He cried, mostly because I was someone new. Now, he comes to me right away. That's what I want - for them to come to me for comfort."

Nancy hopes "to change the image of the evil stepmother to the fun and cool stepmom, to develop that sincere bond with the boys." She knows that "divorce is tough" and feels strongly that the boys need to see a strong bond between her husband and herself in .

"This is the first time they've had to share him with someone. We debated if we should go on a trip and spend time alone, away from the boys, but a child psychologist said 'Yes, you should go to set the right example of what married couples do."

However, Nancy understands that children may become jealous, so she tries to show that she is there as much for them as she is for their Dad and strives to spend as much time with them as possible doing fun stuff, especially one-on-one time.

"Oh, and play sports!" she said, laughing. The time I spent dating a football player in college sure came in handy when, during a backyard toss, the boys' mouths dropped open and they exclaimed "Whoa! You threw a spiral!!" It's a huge bonding opportunity!

For now, she leaves discipline up to the biological parent for at least the first year, but always backs them up and shows the kids that she and her husband are on the same team. "I don't do a lot of the disciplining. I want to focus on building the relationship. Fortunately, these are two of the most amazing, well-behaved, and loving little boys that don't require a lot of discipline. I don't know if children mature faster when they go through a divorce, but I'm very lucky. I got three great fellows out of it."

And, Carson and Tyler clearly like her, too. Nancy remembers that, on the way back from their wedding in Santa Barbara, the boys asked, "Do we call you "Mommy" now? Well, "Mom doesn't work because it gets confusing with their birth Mother. And, Nancy doesn't work - people think I'm their Dad's friend or, at best, their Aunt." It wasn't until the boys called her in unison, one calling "Mommy" and the other calling "Nancy", that they discovered their own special name for the new, cool Stepmom in their lives.

Happy Mother's Day, "Nommy".

Mac Duffy has been a storyteller for over 15 years as performer, writer, director, and puppeteer. For more information on his "Adventures with Mac Duffy - Interactive Storytelling for the Whole Family", visit www.macduffy.com.

The Family Name Game!

Cinderella and Snow White may disagree, but in today's world, stepmothers are more likely to be sincere women who strive to blend their families for the enrichment of all. However, with a rap sheet like that, it's understandable why children faced with having to accept a new woman in Dad's life would be a little leery. SO, we've decided to come up with a new handle for this significant piece to the blended family puzzle.

It's a contest! Names like "Mom 2.0", "Mom, Part Deux", and "My Other Mother" didn't make the cut, so we're counting on you to send your suggestions to us at iknowtheanswer@lafamily.com. The top suggestions will receive a lovingly handcrafted Angel Bracelet as a personal keepsake or a great Mother's Day gift idea. You can check it out in our Gifts and Goodies section on page ____. Thanks, and good luck!!

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