Holiday Clothes Shopping Tips For Overweight Children

by Dr. Susan Bartell

As parents we want our kids to look great for the holidays. But holiday clothes shopping for an overweight, or even chubby child or teen, can be stressful for your child and for you!

Maggie, mother of Kelsey (11), explains, "As soon as I tell Kelsey I don't like an outfit, she yells that I think she's fat. Then she's crying…I can never say anything right!"

Many parents aren't sure how to find the perfect outfit to flatter and fit their overweight kids-especially tweens and teens-without hurting their child's feelings. Shopping results in misunderstandings, arguing and tears. Even long term negative effects can result from bad shopping experiences.

Fortunately, you don't have to continue dreading holiday clothes. Here are some simple yet important ways to not only improve your shopping experience, but also your relationship with your child or teen.

1) No matter how pressed for time you may be with holiday craziness, resist the urge to shop with an overweight and a slim child at the same time. Your overweight child may have a hard time getting outfitted, while her sibling looks great in everything. This will be a depressing experience for a chubby sibling, and will be uncomfortable for your thinner child too.

2) If you are a slim Mom, don't look for your outfit while shopping for your daughter. Her self-esteem will be negatively affected knowing you are trying on clothes that are too small for her. Of course, this suggestion also applies to slimmer dads and their sons.

3) If your child or teen tries on an outfit you don't like, do your best not to react strongly. "You look awful in that"; "that makes you look fat" or similar words, are guaranteed to result in anger, arguments and hurt feelings, so choose your words carefully. Instead try: "I don't love that outfit, let's try a few more before we decide"; or "I'm not sure these pants look as great as some other things I've seen you in. Would you mind if we keep looking?"

4) Catalogue shopping can be less stressful for some kids because it means being able to try on clothes in complete privacy. But it requires advanced planning and a relaxed attitude about making returns whenever necessary so your child doesn't feel guilty.

5) Pre-visit stores alone before taking your child, to make sure they carry a wide enough selection of holiday clothing for chubby or overweight kids and teens. It will be worth shopping at the one with not only the widest range of sizes and styles, but also the most patient sales people who will be sensitive to the feelings of an overweight child who dreads clothes shopping.

Shopping for girls is more complex than for boys. Your daughter will want a particular style, color and fabric. It can be tough to find fashionable clothes for overweight girls. But with enough time and planning, it's definitely possible!

6) Since most larger-sized kids and teens are shy about showing their bodies, avoiding communal fitting rooms is a must. Trying to convince your child that "it's no big deal" will result in you being labeled insensitive and someone who "just doesn't' get it!" This is another reason to check stores in advance.

7) Often, overweight tweens and teens will be mortified to find themselves shopping at the same time as the neighborhood kids they consider "skinny", "cool" or otherwise "popular". You can usually avoid this problem by shopping at off-times. For example, make a special occasion of it by taking your child out of school during lunch for a shopping trip. The missed school hours will be worth the saved self-esteem.

8) It can be helpful to shop in stores where there is a lot of sales assistance who can give you and your child ideas for outfits that you may not have thought of, or may not have seen. It also speeds up the process when there is someone to bring new clothes and take away the ones that aren't working-leaving less time for conflict between you and your child!

9) If clothes shopping seems to end in tears and fighting no matter what you do, it may be easier to send your child or teen shopping with someone else-another relative or adult friend, or in the case of older teens, with his or her friends or even alone.

These tips will be useful all year through, not just during the holidays, making for a happier and more peaceful relationship between you and your child. Happy Holidays!

Dr. Susan Bartell is a nationally recognized child, teen and parenting psychologist and award-winning author. Her latest book is Dr. Susan's Kids-Only Weight Loss Guide: The Parent's Action Plan for Success. If you'd like to learn more or have a question for Dr. Bartell, please email her at DrSusan@familymagazinegroup.com.