Communicating With Your Newborn

Understanding Your Baby

by Guiditta Tornetta

Babies have only one way to communicate with us- from whimpering to downright wailing, every sound our babies make means something. To a new, sleep-deprived, hormonal mom her baby's cry can be a heart wrenching sound. The good news is that, eventually, you will learn your baby's language, and you will be able to respond to his her needs. But it might take a little time.

The following is a list of things you should check and do to calm your baby, and distinguish between what is normal, and when there is a problem.

1. Is the baby hungry? First and foremost, babies cry when they are hungry. They also need to self-pacify at the breast from the information over-load they are experiencing. Check this first; sometimes all the baby wants is love, and security.

2. Do you have a good latch on? Breastfeeding is a bit of an art. You have it within you, but you might need another woman to show you how it is done. If your baby cries during feeding, or seems restless and is not really latching on, ask a lactation consultant to help you out. Most hospitals have them on staff, or ask your pediatrician for referrals.

3. What do you eat? If the baby seems gassy, check your diet. If you think her tummy hurts, asks your pediatrician for help, but for the most part know that babies simply pass gas a lot! For alternative care, try homeopathic remedies like chamomile. Look at your diet; maybe she has a food allergy. Take one item off your diet at the time and discover what makes the baby uncomfortable.

4. Is she clean? Does he have a diaper rash that hurts? Change and wash with gentle water and pay extra attention to the area. Add some lotion, for the next few days.

5. Is there too much light/noise or lack of noise in the room? At times babies love lots of noise! But I personally do not believe in "white" noise. What has helped me, and many of my clients, is singing. If you are still pregnant, create a song with your baby's name in it and sing it to your unborn child as often as you can. If you don't feel creative, take a popular song and change the words to include your baby's name. Once the baby is born he will be very familiar with that song and as long as you sing as loud as he is crying, you will see incredible results. Believe it or not I still sing my children's songs to them (they are 22 and 20 and they love it!)

6. Do you have the gadgets? As much as I believe that trees make the best mobiles, there are a few items that really help. Swings, bouncy chairs, slings, some noise CDs, and swaddling blankets. Some purists say we can live without all that... just like we could live without chocolate, but why?

7. Is she warm? Cold? There are parents who dress the baby too much, and those that dress her too little. A good rule of thumb is, look at what you and the people in your house wear. Do the same with the baby, but maybe add a little undershirt. Use common sense. Watch for signs of heat: red neck and face, hot around the collar.

8. Have you tried a bath and massage? Most babies love the water; it is their natural environment. After the bath you may have time for a quick baby massage. Find an infant massage class or rent/buy an infant massage video and follow along.

9. Have you considered a growth spurt? Yes, those come around periodically, you can read all about them in The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two by James Sears.

10. Last but not list, have you considered hiring a postpartum doula? Having a woman with you to gently show you the way can be a great help. Moms are best. Unfortunately, we live in a world were some of our mothers live far away, some were told to bottle feed, some were told that picking up babies meant spoiling them. So some of us are at odds with our mom's philosophies, and some of our moms cannot help. Look into hiring a postpartum doula! Go to DONA.org , a national organization with hundreds of doulas listed per state and city. Locally check out DASCDOULAS.org for . If you have tried everything to calm your baby down, if he is still crying, do call your pediatrician. In fact, if you suspect anything, call your pediatrician immediately and go down the list as you wait for his call back. Trust in your instincts, ask for help, be resourceful and know...this too shall pass.