How Animals Teach Kids Impulse Control

When Kids Discover Pets

by Larry Kay & Lauren Wygant

Chloe, a charming five year old, was having a gargantuan meltdown in the grocery store over stickers, the fifth item her Mom told Chloe she would not be taking home. Chloe wanted stickers, candy, a squeaky dog toy, and more, always more. What Chloe needed was impulse control.

Impulse control makes no sense to children who live largely in the moment. If you lived just in the moment, you'd feel the same way: deprived. Impulse control is a tough concept to sell, let alone teach, to a child.

Animals can provide wonderful opportunities to teach children impulse control. Ask any young girl dealing with a horse that won't cooperate: acting on the impulse to yell in frustration only makes the situation worse.

But it is not a good idea to add an animal to your family simply to teach your child impulse control. Find a humane education program that will guide your child through supervised interactions that teach how to control her own wants and be respectful of everyone's safety and the animal's needs. The child who wants to hug a rabbit, but instead learns to stroke gently with three fingers is instantly rewarded with the rabbit's continued companionship. This way, children feel rewarded for impulse control, rather than simply deprived.

If you already have a pet that is shy of your child, talk about why that animal is shy and what it must be feeling to not want to spend time with such a wonderful kid. Model appropriate interaction, praise your child for holding back when her impulse was to over-do it, and point out how much your child gets back from the animal when it is not overwhelmed.

Supervision is key. You don't want your child or your pet to become injured. Teaching impulse control with kids and animals takes time, and perhaps control of your own impulses, too.