Teens And Boundaries

by Barry Vigon

The phone rang..... It was a call from the summer camp where his fifteen-year old son Justin was attending.

The director said his son was okay, however he and another boy had vandalized a cabin and they wanted both boys picked up and taken home immediately.

They had literally destroyed the place. They poked holes in the walls, kicked doors off their hinges, smashed windows and somehow managed to kick the railing off the cabin porch. To top it off, these rocket scientist kids even videotaped themselves doing it.

When the director had asked Justin why he did it? The young man's response was that he was bored. This was a high end summer camp known for it's unique activities and this kid was bored, so bored he needed to commit several thousand dollars worth of damage. Justin's parents had sent him to this camp because they were known for having a great filmmaking program. In fact, the head film instructor said Justin had been doing some really interesting work.

So what went wrong? Well, Justin, like a lot of other kids his age, had a problem with boundaries. The fact is, he had none. Clearly, he had been given a lot of freedom at home. So much freedom, that Justin's understanding of the difference between right and wrong had become fuzzy.

Kids need parameters. They need to know when they are crossing the line, when their behavior is unacceptable, otherwise they'll keep pushing the envelope until they get a reaction.

Too many parents today want to be their kid's best friends instead of being their parents. Their fear is that their children won't like them.

Helloooooooo, Anybody home? What difference does it make if your kid likes you or not, if he's going to wind up behind bars?

The dad arrived at camp to pick up his son. He was embarrassed and shocked when he saw the damage Justin had committed. The father offered to pay for the damages and apologized for his son while fighting back tears. He said Justin had never done anything like this before.

Justin left camp without even saying he was sorry. A week later, the father called the camp. Once again he apologized for his son's actions. He then said that Justin was doing much better and that to further his interest in film he had bought his son a state of the art video camera and editing program.

So basically, Justin was rewarded for his antics at camp. If he were my kid, I'd be taking back that video camera and make sure Justin had a part time job so he could pay me back for the damages.

I'd be giving Justin some boundaries.