How to Snag a Single Dad

by Alisa Ruby, M.A.

For many single Moms, and there are approximately 10 million in the U.S., dating can be beyond difficult, whether you are recently separated or have been alone for years. Making the decision to dip your toe into the dating pool can be anxiety provoking and also exciting for anyone. But, for a Mom, it can be additionally stressful, considering your responsibility of protecting your children from all the weirdos and creeps out there. Once you make the decision to date, often the main question on the mind of many Moms is, "Where are all the single Dads?" This is often followed with, "How do I approach one?"

As you begin your search for a great single Dad to date, the following rules should help your journey be smooth and fruitful:

Keep your eyes peeled! Whether you are at the grocery store deli, stuck in traffic at your kid's school parking lot, shopping with your child at a toy store, or picking him up from karate class, always try to be present and aware of your surroundings. There may be someone wonderful right under your nose. Now is the time in your life to smile at that cute Dad in the station wagon, or to say "hi" to the single guy at the PTA meeting.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Tell everyone you know to keep you in mind if they know of a great single Dad for you. Call it what you will. You can put it out there in a casual, humorous, and playful way that will certainly inspire all your acquaintances to play matchmaker. Everyone you know knows someone who knows a great single Dad. Allow yourself to be fixed up on casual blind dates.

Go to events at your child's school. Get to know other parents and make sure you have a supportive community of other single and married Moms. Have a monthly weekend brunch. This is important on every level. Having close friends and the support of other parents will help both you and your child to feel connected and appreciated within the community and temper any feelings of loneliness or pressure to do it all on your own.

Spend Time Out With The Kids Depending on the age of your child, hang out with them at a playground or a community center on a weekend morning. There are sure to be many attractive single men pushing their little ones on the swings. If your child is older, watch them play sports or take them to a sporting event. This will be a great way to bond with your kid and to scope out the crowd.

Do yourself a favor and make an online profile. There are an infinite number of dating websites to choose from. Have a savvy friend help you write your profile and get out there. While cruising the Internet, make sure to have a very strict screening process before even talking to someone on the phone. There are great guys out there and you will find one with patience and consistency. Make a reasonable list of basic standards and nonnegotiable requirements for your dates and do not bend.

Take care of yourself. Go to the gym, eat well, see a therapist, and/or join a support group. It can be so easy to forget to give back to yourself and so depleting to add one more goal onto your agenda. But, your physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing must be your first priority as you teach your children by example to love themselves. Remember the oxygen mask metaphor and that the stewardess always says to put your mask on first.

With an open heart, and a clear mind, mothering your children, going to work, socializing, AND finding the single Dad of your dreams becomes joyful and feasible. Don't lose faith. Take a risk. Every minute gives you a fresh start and another chance. True love with a sexy single Dad is just around the corner.

Alisa Ruby M.A., M.F.T.I. is a successful therapist. She sees individuals, couples, and children, and runs a Law Of Attraction support group. To contact Alisa, email her at alisaruby@familymagazinegroup.com.