How to Keep Your Mothering Experience a Sane One.

The Sane Mama List!

by Wendy Silvers, ALSP

Sacred. Powerful. Challenging. Transformational. What other relationship is more layered than the Mother Child relationship? Mother's Day is the one day a year when the nation stops and honors the greatest and hardest job a woman will ever love: Parenting.

When I first became a Mom, I joined a Mommy Friendship Circle started by an acquaintance of mine to support her experience as a Mom. There were 6 other first-time Moms with babies, and, it was not only the highlight of my week, it saved my butt and my mental health. I left our gatherings feeling very nourished. The well being I felt after being in community with other Moms allowed me to parent from a place of peace rather than reaction.

On a deep level, I knew I was whole and that this baby I was entrusted with was perfect. As a spiritual teacher, I knew that the Law of Attraction was operating on this spiritual journey called mothering and I wanted to consciously use it to create a wonderful life for my family. Who better than a mother knows what another mother needs? Nurturing, support, unconditional acceptance, breaks, encouragement, a shoulder to lean on, cheers at the triumphs, and practical tools to get through the challenges. It is a journey, not a destination and what we may learn as mommies is how to ask for help.

The Sane Mama List is a wish list of things that will soothe me as I traverse this journey. You may wish to call it something else. There's a saying that when mama's happy, everybody's happy. And, to a great extent, that's true. Truthfully, mama must be happy with mama above all. NOTE: If, at any point, you feel you may be experiencing post partum depression, please seek professional help without self-judgment.

Since you get to create your own life the way you'd like it to be, all it takes is the first step:

List 10 things that would make you happy. Do not edit or judge, just list. Go through the list and date when you'd like to experience these activities and how often. Post it where you can see it every day. Let your husband partner/best friends know about these choices.

Do something each day on this list that nourishes you.

Find a like-minded mama you trust and trade babysitting.

Make sure you get fresh air every day with or without child.

Join a mama group; go to a few gatherings, if it feels good, keep going, if not, find a new group. Your goal is to experience positive, supportive energy even while sharing some of the challenges of this role.

Share honestly without getting stuck in the downward cycle of complaining.

Drink lots of water. Get as much rest as possible. Breathe -- Deeply -- Often.

Write a gratitude list to remind you of the blessings you do have.

Watch funny movies and laugh.