In The Good Old Days, Did Mother Really Know Best?

Advice From Nanny Stella

by Stella Reid

Recently, my husband, Mike, celebrated his 40th birthday and 8 members of my family flew the 5,500 miles to help us celebrate. Although we really are a close-knit family and always have a great time when we are together, there can be quite a bit of arguing and "agreeing to differ" on occasion. One topic that is very "heated" with us is how times have changed when it comes to raising children. I know you must have heard it before: "in my day, things were much different."

Did mother know best? Is motherhood a lost art? Or do we simply need to look to the days gone by to re-educate ourselves on how to raise our children today?

I definitely think looking to the past can help because I believe that in today's society the concept of motherhood is confused and somewhat in limbo. I was raised mainly by my mother, Anne, and my grandmother, Lizzy, who lived in the house opposite. My mother, grandmother and aunts taught me a lot and I believe that many of my childcare tips came from what I learned from these ladies, but I have also added some modern rules to ensure that I am not tied to the kitchen sink. Women should take what they learned from their mothers and grandmothers and what they have learned from their modern day experiences and throw it all into a big melting pot and find what works for them and their family. I say "what works for them" because what works for me and my family doesn't necessarily work for yours.

When I was growing up, the women around me were all self-sacrificing. They cooked, they cleaned, they sewed -- they did it all and they worked as well. My mother had three jobs to provide for me and my brother, and I remember my grandma went without food in her day when there wasn't enough to go around. Although I appreciate what they did for me, I do not think it is beneficial to always sacrifice to the point of exhaustion. I believe you should take care of yourself first, then your family. That is what works for me. Safety advice on an airplane ALWAYS directs you to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting the other members of your party who may need help. After all, how can we truly care for our little ones if we are not functioning properly?

Nanny Stella Recommends: "Mother Tells You How: Essential Life Skills for Modern Young Women," a collection of cartoon strips taken from a popular 1950s girl magazine.