The Gift of Unconditional Love

Xtreme Grandparents

by Rubin Carson and Marilynn Record

The greatest gift you can give to a grandchild is unconditional love, time, and attention. Right? According to my partner in life, Marilynn, wrong! En route to 4-year-old grandaughter's pre-school graduation, she made me make a u-turn in the middle of the biggest traffic jam that third street ever experienced.

I ducked to avoid a possible gunshot through the windshield, then asked: "Why are we stopping here?"

No answer as we parked in front of a flower shop that was featuring a dozen roses for the price of a Ralph's celery stalk. She dashed out and soon returned with a huge floral offering fit for a derby winner. "Honey, Tamara is not graduating from Harvard. She's only four."

And then her standard answer: "She's only four once."

I shouldn't have asked. She did flower presentations for all our grandkids at dance recitals, violin recitals, equestrian dressage, skating contests, and YOU FILL IN PLEASE..........

Special events are one thing but there were Barbies, shmarbies, doughboys, California Girl for visits to their homes or sleepovers at ours. Everybody accused her of "spoiling" them but it didn't matter. All I can say is: better buy stock in Toys Are Us.

My thoughts go back to my own childhood during the Depression. We lived in a tiny three-story house with one bathroom. My grandparents lived on the top floor right next to my brother and me. Mom and Pa slept on the first floor right next to the kitchen. The second floor was rented out to another family who had two kids and a grandmother. There were no such terms as 'intergenerational'. Everybody had grandparents living with them.

My grandmother did not sit around only making cookies. When our parents went to work, she cooked for us, made sure we had clean clothes, and gave us a well-deserved spanking when required. She was so much part of our lives, that I called her 'Ma' and my mother by her first name. She was not only a fountain of love but a gusher. When she passed away, I was inconsolable. I can't remember her ever giving us a present.

Since I noodled this through, I've been much more tolerant of Marilynn's "spoiling" our grandkids with floral offerings, dolls, toys, etc. When you hide the present behind your back and watch your grandkid's sweet expectant smile, it's no wonder she gets addicted. My grandmother didn't have to give us presents to get our smiles. Basking in her love 24/7 was the greatest gift of all.