The Key to Disciplining Your Child

Fix It Fast with Nanny Stella

by Stella Reid

Nanny Stella, from Fox Television's "Nanny 911" invites you to join us each month to get the lowdown on effective parenting from the Nanny that knows!

The Key to Mom & Dad Discipline I talk to parents all the time about the fact that we spend more time deciding what vacation we are going to take or what mini-van we should buy than how we are actually going to parent. I thought that my husband, Mike, and I had it down…evidently not.

Recently, my husband and I had a disagreement. I returned from Canada where I was a guest speaker at a parenting seminar. My "boys," as I call them, had been camping for the weekend. It started with me asking Justin, my stepson, whether he had read on Thursday and Friday, as he was supposed to. He didn't answer, and that then led to me asking my husband why he didn't know whether Justin had read or not. Emotions started running high and we argued for quite some time. It finished with me losing my temper and telling them that I wasn't going out for dinner.

So, what is the lesson to be learned here? Is it that Justin needs to be responsible for reading, or is it learning to resolve arguments and set a good example when things get out of hand? The real issue here is that Mike and I need to be on the same page with rules and discipline.

Whilst in Canada, I encouraged people to go home that night and if they hadn't already decided on a strategy, then they should do so right away. The key is compromise and then consistency with what you both do without one undermining the other. Little did I know that I would fall foul myself in the days ahead.

It is important that you support each other and not undermine or contradict one another. Definitely do not have a go at one another in front of the children, which, put me in time-out, my husband and I did!

Appreciate each other's styles, but working together as a team it is essential. Parents that work together as a team create a secure, safe environment for their children. No matter how you feel in the moment, let it go and discuss it later when it is just the two of you.

Mike and I sat down later with Justin and we both apologized. However, we still reinforced to him that he has to read for 45 minutes a day and what the consequences will be if he doesn't, the natural ones in the big world and the ones set by us at home.

I have written a book and I am on TV, but I am still learning. Being a parent is my job just as it is yours. Like any other job, the more we practice and the harder we try, the better we get.......... hopefully!

So to all the Dads out there that need to get on the same page as their wives, good luck and Happy Father's Day!