Prevent Child Abduction; Keep Your Kids Safe

by Dr. Jenn Berman

With the recent media attention on Shasta Groene, the 8-year-old girl who was kidnapped with her now deceased brother, parents are wondering how they can keep their children safe. The recent trials for cases like Elizabeth Smart and Samantha Runnion send chills up and down the spines of parents everywhere. We all want to keep our children safe, but we don't want to scare them into staying close by.

The Truth about Child Abductions

While one missing child is too many, statistically speaking, non-family child abductions are decreasing. In the 1980's the United States was averaging 200-300 cases a year, whereas there were less than 100 in 2001. According to Tina Schwartz, a spokeswoman for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, "There aren't more cases - just more national media coverage." Even though child abductions are actually decreasing, sexual victimization of children is on the rise.

Teens are the most vulnerable age group for foul play, according to the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Center. Perhaps that is because they have just enough autonomy to make them most vulnerable. A study by the U.S. Department of Justice found that one in five children ages 10 to 17 years old have received unwanted solicitations online. If that doesn't you shivers, studies show that 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys are sexually exploited before they reach adulthood. Less than 35% of those child sexual assaults are reported to the police.

Most non-family-member abductions are done by an acquaintance, a neighbor, or a stranger. While "stranger danger" programs have become popular, there is controversy around the effectiveness of such campaigns. The flaw in these programs is that children think of strangers as people who look strange or are totally unfamiliar to them. Kidnappers are not necessarily drooling hunchbacks lurking in alleyways. In addition, children tend to think someone who they see regularly like the ice cream man or the gardener is not a stranger, when in fact they are. Breaking the myths of what constitutes a stranger is one of the biggest obstacles for teaching children about these dangers.

Parenting Tips

Speak openly about safety with your children. Children are more likely to talk to you if something makes them uncomfortable if you have regular open communication and they sense you are comfortable talking to them.

Role-play with your child. When I was a child, we played "The Stranger Game" in my house, where we role-played different scenarios, and I had the opportunity to practice different responses until they became second nature. Get your kids thinking with "What If" games. When you are out with your child, ask them questions like "what would you do if you couldn't find me at the market?" or "what would you do if that man asked you for directions?" These are good opportunities to make emergency plans and get your child thinking about their safety.

Teach your children who strangers really are. Explain about strangers and help children to understand they are not just scary men in dark allies.

Explain to your children that grownups don't need help from kids. Children should know that adults don't need directions or assistance from children they don't know.

Teach your children they have the right to say "no." This gives children the self-esteem to be willing to put their needs and comforts before those around them. Be very conscious about the messages you send your children about listening to their instincts. For example, when you bring your daughter to Aunt Jane and Uncle Bob's, and tell her to kiss them goodbye and she doesn't want to, don't tell her to do it anyway. By telling her to do so, you teach her that it is more important that she be polite and please others than listen to her instincts and do what feels right.

For more tips to keep your family safe check out The Center for Missing and Exploited Children (www.missingkids.com) or The Polly Klaus Foundation (www.pollyklaas.org)